Tucker Carlson’s First Twitter Show Breaks Records

Tucker Carlson, who was unjustly fired from Fox News and promised to bring his show back to his legions of fans has debuted his new show on Twitter. And what a debut it was. Twitter is completely free of censorship and Carlson basked in the glory of being able to finally talk freely and bring the truth to the patriotic masses.

The show broke records. Even by Cable News standards, this was a resounding success. Millions, tens of millions watched Tucker Carlson do what he does best. Yes. That was hundreds of millions.  Nearly 80 million people turned to Tucker to see what he had to say. His nightly show on Fox News garnered a mere 3 million a night. But this was nearly 80 million people, and they did so because they know he’s finally free.

Fox News has gone woke to many patriotic Americans. But now, the gloves are off. The true conservative, Tucker Carlson, a real man of the people is speaking directly to them, unfiltered, uncensored and unchained. No more of the woke liberals who’ve taken over Fox News telling Carlson what he can and cannot say. It’s a new day for Tucker Carlson, a new day for patriots and a new day for America.

Not only did Tucker bring millions of Americans to Twitter, but because of Carlson, Twitter is now making a profit for the first time in its history.  Tucker Carlson is a great American. Twitter CFO, Joseph Barron can’t believe it. “All it took was a live show right on our platform, and they came running”. Running might be a bit of a stretch considering Tucker’s audience is mainly overweight senior citizens who haven’t left their couches except for the weekly trip to harass cashiers at Walmart for their weekly grocery trips.

In any case, Tucker is back, and you’ll get exactly what you’ve always wanted out of him. Unfiltered stupidity and complete bullshit spoken to you like the distended belly Neanderthals you really are. God bless America.