Trump’s Convention Speech Receives Highest Rating in History

Our dear leader, President Donald Trump, is an inspirational public speaker who knows exactly how to keep an audience enthralled for hours.

And his latest public address — his patriotic, all-American, red-meat speech to the Republican National Convention — received the highest rating of any convention speech in history!

Yes, patriots, it’s true. His speeches are always amazing, perfectly written, and delivered flawlessly.

And this particular speech set a new record — for the lowest intellectual level of a presidential speech in the history of our nation.

Sandy Batt, a prominent professor of linguistics and rhetoric, analyzed the speech — all 70 minutes of that drivel — and discovered that it was written on a second-grade level.

Somehow, that fits perfectly with Trump’s history as the fraudster who bamboozled thousands of Trump “University” students and was punished with a $25 million fine. Haha.

It also fits perfectly with the knuckle-dragging stupidity of his brainwashed supporters, who would undoubtedly start trading poop casserole recipes at church every Sunday if he told them to eat their own feces.

Consider this passage: “I am your voice. I alone can fix it. I will restore law and order.”

Four or five words a sentence, no compound sentences, only a few words with more than one syllable. Hardly an inspiring — or even remotely smart — speech.

He’s a freaking grade-school bully! And now, as he descends further into his dementia and narcissism, he’s clearly losing what’s left of his marbles.

He uses simple words, repeated over and over (there’s that dementia doing its thing), to stoke fear in his terrified base.

We’ve never had such a stupid president. Even going beyond his 2nd-grade vocabulary, he didn’t have the smarts to take on the coronavirus crisis, nor does he have the smarts to lead us out of it. It’s time for him to go.

Maybe he can learn a few new words in his retirement.