There will be a few different gatherings to celebrate the life of Toby Keith. The one his friends and family will hold most dear, their private gathering in Oklahoma, won’t include Taylor Swift.
“The family needs to protect itself from the media circus,” said Keith Spokesman Joe Barron, “They can’t have Toby’s final event on this earth to be a repeat of the NFL playoffs.”
The Nielsen Corporation did a study and found that if the event is televised, Taylor Swift would be on camera as much if not more than Toby Keith.
“That would almost make sense,” said Nielsen President Joe Barron, “Especially since Toby is…deceased. He’ll probably get little live camera time. The family is concerned that the times they are showing a casket or an image of Toby that the news will, instead, pan to Taylor’s reaction.”
That makes sense, patriots. The last Chiefs game I watched was almost all Tay Tay. They skipped most of the third quarter while Tony Romo did a rundown of what it must have been like for Travis to watch the Eras Tour knowing he’s going home with the star.
As for Swift, you just know she’s in it all for the free publicity she thinks being literally the most popular person on the planet has earned her. Like it’s hard to get almost a billion social media followers. It’s all candy after the first hundred million.
Whatever. She’ll learn the hard way when the boycotts hit. Go woke go broke. God Bless America.
THEY KNOW THAT SORO IS HER MASTER , AND SATAN,, SHE WORSHIPS SATAN IT’S IN HER VIDEOS. WE KNOW THE FIX WAS IN AND SORO AND OBAMA FIXED IT.
I consider myself a learned fellow, a Cambridge Doctor of Letters, OBE and Marquis of Chevril Pont-du-Frause, and Taylor Swift most assuredly drinks from the traumatized and adenochrome-infused blood of Christian orphans from a goblet issued to her by Maximillian Rothschild VI in commemoration of her years of surreptitious service financing political lobbying for the fluoridation of AR-15 lower receivers and Anheuser-Busch Budweiser light beer. She also owns a 20% share of the pizza restaurant under the pizza restaurant under the basement of Comet Ping Pong Pizzeria, closest to the warmth of hell which is where she comes from and where she derives her glamourie bewitchment lesbian magicka from. I have a 32-part YouTube documentary I’ve produced, all set to the score from the Jewish-American pro-heroin propaganda film Requeim for a Dream. Sometimes the song has a 4 on the floor bass beat added to it and sometimes it’s faster, but I make sure that it’s always of the lowest audio quality and that it’s poorly synced to the documentary’s pacing. Penultimately, Taylor Swift is just one more agent of Satan, who dwells beneath the flat disc of the earth in a very thin and very wide circular hell because the earth is a flat disc. This is why they WANT you to believe the earth is an oblate spheroid, like the tomato emoji (I do not deign to use emoji, it is beneath my station.) it is actually a flat disc and this is what I’ve mathematically proven with the incredible access I’ve been granted to the loftiest heights of academia by my incredible, entirely non-Jewish and non-reptilian wealth that has always been ours since ancient times although we have somehow lost all records of our businesses and investments from 1939-1945 in a tragic cognac fire.