President Trump Finally Taps Powerhouse Sarah Palin to Help Drain the Swamp

Back in 2008, John McCain was poised to lose the election to usurper Barack Obama. Before long, he had dropped so far in the polls that the GOP had no choice but to give up the 3rd most important governorship in the country and recruit Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

As Governor, Palin had turned the Alaskan economy from one that prospered off of a robust fishing and game industry into a powerhouse of drilling, fracking, and deforestation. The untamed wilderness was finally tamed, and a bunch of money was made.

While McCain lost that election, mostly because he refused to admit that Obama was a member of the Musselman Brotherhood, he rose more than 30 points in the polls. Many wondered why Palin herself wasn’t tapped for the Presidency in 2012.

Today, Sarah Palin’s powerhouse attitude and lack of empathy for dumb liberal causes like the environment and equal rights has finally been tapped for the Trump White House. According to Director of Information and Propaganda, Getty DeTater, Palin has a lot of work to do:

“Sarah will be going through the employee files of everyone who worked in the Executive Branch under Obama and finding out where there loyalties lie. The State Department, in particular, is in need of a purge of that old coup d’etat attitude.

“Palin will be asking questions about the Constitution, history, and conservative values. Anyone who knows what she knows will be able to stay, while those who feel the need to try to argue their position by showing actual passages from bookjs or documents will be let go.

“It’s a simple p[rocess to weed out the simple people.”

Palin will begin her work by examining who may have blown the whistle on President Trump’s crimes and getting rid of anyone who agrees with them. It’s not gonna be easy, but Sarah is always up to the task.