Pope Francis To Be Indicted For Child Trafficking

Finally, justice may come for thousands of victims of child exploitation at the hands of the Catholic Church. The Justice Department of the Unified English is said to have issued warrants for the arrest of none other than the head of the church, Pope Francis for child trafficking. Specifics are vague but the Department had long been investigating a trafficking ring in Europe that had been in operation in the early 2000’s with Italian roots. The Vatican, home of the pope is, of course, located in Italy. The connection seems clear.

Lead investigators had no comment on the charges but an inside source, known only as “Barron”, provided us with some details:

“Pope Francis is a part of something big. It reaches around the globe and affects many.

He’s said to have personally touched thousands in this scheme and has done so shamelessly. Countless children have been touched by the pope and his cronies.

We got the tip from a reliable anonymous source who’s named Jose Barone. He told us all sorts of tales about the man in the pointy hat. He was a little short on proof but I’m sure that’ll come later.”

Could this be the end for the decades old cover-up from the Catholic Church. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.