Coach Pete Carroll is well known as a disciplinarian in the league. Unlike some clubs, The Seattle Seahawks run under a strict regimen that controls virtually every aspect of their lives from pre-season through playoffs.
A major staple of that system, the “No-Kneeling” policy, earned Carroll and the team an “A” rating from the National Veteran’s Society, and an honored place among only three other NFL teams.
“It’s simple, really,” said Carroll, “This issue comes up every year around this time, and every year you see the headlines. Tomlin fires two. Belichick won’t stand for it. John Elway ends a couple of more careers. You never hear about us, because we don’t participate.”
“It’s great for our locals,” said Society President Joe Barron, “There’s a lot of liberals in this area. They need places to feel at home. When one of those includes a football stadium and a team that is consistently competitive, that’s a win.”
ALLOD Sportsball Correspondent Tara Newhole said she ran some numbers and came up with exactly zero instances of anyone caring about this issue in real life since about 2020 or so.
“Remember, Kaepernick started all this,” she said, “and he’s been gone for six years. So yeah, nobody I talked to gave a flying fark.”
If you knew Tara you’d really appreciate imagining the look on her face when she delivered that last line. God Bless America.
