Nancy Pelosi’s office spent the day denying what her own daughters spilled earlier this week at a kegger in San Dimas: Speaker Pelosi will NOT be seeking another term as a US Congresswoman. According to Brandon Kyle, a friend of Cassandra Pelosi:

“She totally said her mom was retiring. Like…30 people heard it. Her sister Marisol was upstairs doing that thing she does with a Zagnut and confirmed it to at least 16 girls and one undecided that we know of.”

When asked how credible the source was, we were told “regardless of how credible the source is, the information is true,” which explains everything.

The mainstream media has been told not to report it.

That won’t stop the truth from getting out, however, as more people find Cassie’s story and hunt down Kyle. Our own investigator in the field, Skip Tetheluda, says he found the sources to be fully credible:

“I went expecting to find a bunch of losers looking to score some cash on inside info and instead found a bunch of complete idiots who didn’t understand how valuable their information was. I sat and burned one with Mikey and Rich and they gave me the whole scoop. Yeah, she’s retiring all right.”

Skip’s reputation is unmatched in our circles, so we’re gonna go ahead and pass this information along. Expect the rest of the world to catch up sometime later this week.

Comments

  1. Jim Ziegelbauer

    Pelosi is a proven Drunk that hates America and POTUS Trump we the people know that’s we know that the 2020 POTUS , Congress and Senate will be Republican what a waste of time talent and treasure the last 3 years have been for Democrats NOTHING for we the people embarrassing. CNN has promoted hate for the same time

  2. Anonymous

    Nancy Pelosi is a National
    disgrace. Tearing up the President Speech …showing just how unhinged she is. She had done nothing
    for the poor people in tent city near her home. Never has she mentioned them or attempted to help. The
    only thing she has done is wave her arms and try to destroy our country. The impeachment was a direct
    example of her demented mind her frenzy for power and her greed.

  3. Anonymous

    Pelosi has been in DC way too long!! She does not know or care about a anyone or anything except trying to keep power in her clutches. Way past time for her to leave DC and see now the rest of the world lives! Hoping she will retire, she will be 80 next month. Needs to be locked up and dried out!!

  4. jo whipple

    Can we say she’s going on vacation to Gitmo?

  5. leroywashington

    WE’VE ALL BEEN LIED TO!

    WHITE PEOPLE CAN’T BE RACIST:

    HERE’S A LIST OF “WHITE SLAVE TRADES”: 1.BARBARY SLAVE TRADE 2. ARAB SLAVE TRADE 3. IRISH SLAVE TRADE 4.CRIMEAN SLAVE TRADE, 100’S OF MILLIONS OF WHITE PEOPLE WERE ENSLAVED OVER THE LAST 2,500 YEARS, HALF WERE WHITE WOMEN!

  6. Anonymous

    I’m going to have to report this to the Internet.

  7. Carla Sue Bax

    It is time for Pelosi to step down she is not a leader any longer she is only for the Democrats and what they want and that is sad she was put into office to work for the American people and never has worked for us. sad but true she needs to give it up and have a rest full life ahead of her, she is not capable of holding a job she is in so retiring is to her best interest and the United States, thank you for your service but it is good to see you leave.

  8. Fred C Fulford

    So many people think this is real news, no wonder it is so easy to spread propaganda and misinformation… so sad that the average person can’t tell the difference.

  9. Walter Paul Mace

    She’s not running for Congress because Biden is going to pick her for his running mate.

  10. Kenny

    Aside of everything that is going on right now with the virus etc etc That is the best news in days! If true praise God!

  11. Randy

    Nancy Pelosi will be lucky if she don’t retire and move rite into jail for all the stuff she’s done

  12. Anonymous

    Pelosi for her entire career has been against everything the Republican Party has stood for even if its something that she would support. That nothing more than hatred and disrespect to the other party . So Pelosi go take your ball and go play in a retirement center with all of your on people. PS why don’t you take maxine waters ,the fab 5 with you.

  13. Anonymous

    Hey gullible people, this is a satire site which means this is fake news.

  14. Anonymous

    I do not believe it! She is too power-hungry to ever voluntarily give it up. If her electorate would only show her the door – that would be true justice!

  15. Anonymous

    PELOSI YOU SUCK! YOU ARE AMERICA’S TOP ENEMY! THEY NEED TO TAKE YOUR ASS OUT!

  16. Ron Mann

    She knows what is comig, Red Wave, losing her gavel

  17. John

    This sorry excuse for a woman is EVIL and needs to be gone NOW!

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