Harris Talks Citizenship, Jobs, Voter Visas With Refugees

It’s finally happening – what the conservative right-wing media pundits on Fox, Newsmax, and OAN have been begging for for months, ever since Kamala Harris was assigned the job of “border czar.”  The Vice President is at the southern U.S. border, speaking personally with the refugees that await there.

While former disgraced President Donald Trump postures and claims he himself will make a similar visit, nearly no one cares whatsoever.  Some people say that if Trump were to go on television live and and impregnate a squirrel on a skateboard in the Gobi desert, he’d get beaten in the ratings by a rerun of “Star Trek : Enterprise”, which is the worst one.

(While much of the who-gives-a-fu*kery regarding Trump stems from him no longer holding any official position other than morbidly obese and bent over, Harris, in contrast, was elected by the vast majority of the American people.  Just a reminder.)

As reported by Joe Barron of the Daily Metroqueefiton Gazette, Miss Harris made sure to bring up subjects that would cause indigestion within the endochrine systems of most trumptarded oatmeal slurpers, including how they could begin a path to American citizenship, how to obtain temporary visas to vote, and of course, which malls have a Bed, Bath, and Beyond with those little soaps shaped like roses that everyone’s grandma had.

Within hours of her arrival, seven Mariachi bands had already performed song selections by popular Mexican artists Mana, and she was presented with a caseload of homemade Gorditas, a local delicacy that Taco Bell no longer makes because they’re goddamn assholes.

Later in the day, the VP was led on a tour of the refugee camps, where she was carried aloft on a Queen-style rickshaw, and fed grapes by half-naked Latino firemen.  It certainly sounds like she’s making quite a bit of headway in a tense and complicated situation.