Hillary Cancels Planned Photo-Op With Melania Trump

It was the ancient wisdom of classic rockers Styx who mused that : “Nothing ever goes as planned.”  Of course, they also had a severe amount of “too much” (clap clap) “time on their hands.”

However, in the case of a planned photo opportunity and question-and-answer session next week at the Queefington Hills area Dave and Buster’s establishment, that prediction came true, even as American media had already set an open course for that particular virgin sea.

Sandy Batt of Washington’s beareau for satirical claptrap published the official press release from the Clinton compound earlier today:

“I regret that I will not be attending the proposed meeting with former First Lady Melania Trump at the chosen date.  I believe that being in the same room as any Trump is detrimental to the mental health of any and all bystanders, and won’t put myself or my fellow citizens in jeopardy.  Also, I’ve already checked, and the arcade’s classic Crossbow game is out of order.”

Mrs. Trump responded to the snub with a letter of her own, which was first accidentally sent to George Clinton, leader of the Parliament Funkadelic coalition.

“Is okay for no make meet Hillary Clinton because is time of year for yeasting in female beet patch.  Also, location has restaurant that is for me no good.  Birthday cone hats no fit head and chicken fingers too small for expert mouth.  Thank you and give me credit card now.”

Many extreme right conservatives see the cancellation as a massive show of disrespect for Melania and all of the former First Family, and are using the story to fill 23 hours of content for a week on the Newsmax and OAN networks.  The remaining hour will focus on commercials with Tom Selleck and in-depth hard-hitting interviews with obscure Republican candidates for office who all have giant glassy eyes and rectangular heads.