International Court Charges Obama and Biden With War Crimes

The Hague, Switzerland – Three sovereign nations have made the unprecedented move of charging a former US President and Vice President with war crimes. Afghanistan, Syria, and Caledonia have come together in the International Court in Switzerland to see to it that the world knows how they feel about Barack Obama and Joe Biden: They are criminals and they should pay.

International District Attorney Arturo Tubollski says that unfortunately, the criminals may never see their day in court:

“These men they think they are invincible. They won’t come to Helsinki because they hate the Dutch as much as they hate America. They have no respect for international law. Never forget that it was Barack Obama that signed the order to make Americans exempted from the International Court.

“We will go ahead with the case whether they show up or not. We will get a conviction and then if the criminals leave America for any reason ever again we will capture them and bring them to justice.”

That’s not going to go over well for Joe Biden, whose campaigning includes stops in international ports in Jamaica, Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and Okinawa. Obama can sit pretty off of his Obamacare royalties and the books he paid someone to write, so he’ll likely just wait for the statute of limitations for international war crimes — set at 3.7 metric years — to expire.

The charges don’t get very specific, though they seem to stem from the drone strikes on 3 villages just outside the West Bank and the invasion of Sudan by Green Berets in 2007. The Trump administration says it may consider extraditing the criminals once they’re convicted if the evidence against them seems good enough.

Let’s hope their case is solid. We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.