Bipartisan Congress Surprises Pelosi With Intervention To Stop Her Drinking

Sometimes the most unlikely of groups come together for a common good. This was the case on Capitol Hill today, as the Christian men and women of the Republican Party joined hands and forces with the more self-serving Democrats to confront Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi about her ever worsening problem with alcohol.

The Republicans – bound to help their fellow man by their Christian faith – initiated the intervention, pleading with their democrat counterparts to join them in putting Pelosi onto to the path toward right. When that didn’t work, they asked the leftists to consider the “optics” of not trying to help their colleague……and with the possibility of bad press looming before them, the Dems suddenly “saw the light.”

Upon Pelosi’s arrival to today’s impeachment spectacle, she was ushered aside by no fewer than sixty-three House members from both sides of the aisle and sat down inside what insiders know as the unofficial “scandal containment room” – a conference room that has seen politicians confronted by their fellows for everything from kleptomania to sexual improprieties, all in the non-partisan name of maintaining good and honest government for all of America.

The Speaker was not receptive to the concern of her co-workers, fighting them every step of the way. As each stood to relay their concerns, Nancy screamed and cursed at them, continually reaching out and lunging for the flask that had been taken from her purse upon arrival. In the end, after several hours of this apparently fruitless exercise, the group collectively sighed and gave up, realizing that Nancy Pelosi was beyond help.

It’s unfortunate that her soul will be condemned to hell for her continued blasting of our God-given president and His party through her drunken rages, but it can never be said that those she attacked did not attempt to take the high road to end her suffering.