Publix, the largest supermarket chain in the Southeast, isn’t happy with the new recruiting tactics of Tyson Foods. The company is so disappointed, it has vowed to stop selling Tyson products unless they make “significant changes to their policies.”
“Publix would like to see Tyson stop pandering to the left when it comes to hiring,” said Marketing Director Joe Barron, “They believe that by giving these folks good-paying jobs taken directly from hard-working US citizens that they’ll secure their votes in the next election.”
Tyson fired back at Publix, calling Barron’s statement “ludicrous, xenophobic nonsense”:
“These are low-wage, incredibly difficult jobs that we can’t fill with ‘hard-working American labor,'” said Tyson Spokesperson Art Tubolls, “so we’re hoping to recruit migrant labor. If any of the boneheads crying about it would like to come clean chicken crap for minimum wage, the HR Department eagerly awaits your application.”
Just because the jobs are tough doesn’t mean Americans shouldn’t get them if they want them. Tyson has a duty to its country to leave the positions empty in case unemployment spikes, which it should any minute now here in Biden’s America.
ALLOD Financial Specialisticator Tara Newhole disagrees with that assessment, unfortunately, so she’s been left out of next week’s company potluck: “That may be the dumbest thing anyone has ever said out loud,” said Newhole, “Sometimes I wonder how you dress yourself.”
As do I, patriot. God Bless America.
