Investigation Reveals History of China Bribing The Who

When President Trump recently suspended funding to the World Health Organization, he told us about the bias that existed within The Who. “China-centric” he called it, meaning they protected the Chinese no matter how obvious the evidence that they created this horrible crisis. They refused to place the blame for American deaths where it belonged.

Following that announcement, The DOJ launched an investigation into the obvious corruption within The Who. What they quickly found surprised no one. The accounts of top officials within the organization showed large cash deposits from the very country that they protected. China paid bribes for favoritism.

Subagent Joe Barron shed some light on the details of what they found:

“China is very sensitive about their image. They screwed up big with all this but they would be damned if they let anybody know it. But they didn’t have to worry about it because they owned The Who- Daltry, Townshend, all of them. As soon as China’s denials began, they began to send large payments to the members of the band.

It seems that they felt an exclusive concert from the legendary group would make everybody forget their negligence. Well, the joke is on them. We found those payments and refused to allow the bandmates to travel to the Far East. We actually knew about it sometime ago. That’s why we really cut off the flights to China. So that they would never hear ‘Pinball Wizard’ live in Shanghai. It’s bad enough they got to play in the halftime show for the Superbowl the Saints won. Who dat.

It was a diabolical plan on China’s part, but they are not smarter than us. We caught wind of it and we crushed it. And now The Who will never play in America ever again.”

You should be thankful every day that we have a president with this much strength and intelligence to get us through these trying times. President Trump is truly a gift from God.