Pelosi Removed from Stimulus Vote for Being Drunk and Disorderly

It is well-known in Washington that Nancy Pelosi has an alcohol problem. She’s been caught drinking on the job on numerous occasions, so it’s no surprise that she was at it again today during the stimulus vote, ranting and raving at Republicans.

According to those present during the vote, Pelosi kept hitting her gavel, shouting obscenities toward Republicans, and said “I’m the Speaker of the fu**ing House! You will vote how I tell you or God help you! I can do what I want!”

This came as a huge shock to most of those present because she’s only done this twice before in the Capitol building, and she promised to never do it again.

Republican Senator Joe Barron was present and he gave us his account:

“It was unbelievable! I’ve heard the tales of her legendary benders, but I’ve never gotten to see one in person. It was wild. She got up there on the podium, stripped to her underwear and threatened to whack people with her gavel.

Then she went on a rant about how they were moles that needed to be whacked. It’s really not something that you see often, unless maybe you live in the Pelosi household.

It’s clear the woman needs help. She needs to retire and spend time with her family since it’s obvious can’t handle the pressure of leadership anymore.”

The American people deserve better. It’s time Congress steps up and says enough is enough! It’s obvious that they fear Pelosi and the power of her gavel, but this has gone on too long. The world sees America as a joke with her in power, and we want to be taken seriously.

Maybe next time she’ll be ranting about windmill cancer and how smart she is.