Paramount Says It Might Have to Cut CMT: “They’ve Lost Their Audience”

Paramount, the parent company of MTV and CMT, is concerned with the network’s performance.

According to Vice President of Programming Joe Barron, the entire network may need to go.

“They’ve lost their audience,” said Barron, “without an audience, it’s just a network of sitcom reruns and reality television. Who wants that anymore?”

Barron says it would be “fairly easy” to just incorporate the genre into MTV’s schedule. “With nobody to watch, we can probably cut it to a late-night thing,” he said.

There’s also the possibility that it could go on VH-1, yet another Paramount company, though it’s more likely that they’ll toss an hour-long tribute to Johnny Cash on Paramount Plus and stop pretending it hasn’t sucked in two or three decades.

“Maybe they can find a place for it on a Star Trek series,” said someone familiar with things, “or maybe they can let Firefly come back for another run. Is Summer Glau still hot?” ALLOD correspondent Skip Tetheludah pointed out that while Summer Glau is definitely technically hot, it’s the quirky little overbite that really does it. It’s kind of a Rosanna Arquette-type thing.

Skip is usually right about that kind of stuff patriots. Paramount should really try to pay attention. God bless America.