The United State’s southern border is a mess. Hundreds upon hundreds of undocumented people are slipping across every day. Fox News experts estimate that we are now accepting the population of an entire Skynrd concert daily.
“Y’all think they’ll do ‘Smokestack Lightning’ this time? I love that one.”
However, this article has nothing to do with that border, since, despite trying their hardest across the nation in fourth-grade geography classes, many ignorant Trumptards are unaware that Arkansas is not a southern border state. No. The problem rhymes with “smishsmortion.”
With new draconian laws against women and their civil rights now on the books in southern red states, desperate females are flooding to Arkansas from hellholes like Oklahoma and Florida for safe medical care.
Local Arkansas border chief Joe Konders says their patrols are “overwhelmed” and sometimes a little flop-sweaty.
“Wimmens is a’floodin cross our borders all over the place in their cars and their vans and stuff. We know what they want here. They want rice and shoppin’ at Dillards. We make us a lot of rice here. Prolly more even than them Chinamen.”
Pictured: A “Ginaman.”
Arkansas governor Melissa Southard doesn’t seem to mind much, and may even be welcoming the influx of bitches with open arms.
“Come on in, ladies. We’ve got plenty of room, lots of jobs and property, and some really killer nightclubs. And we won’t force a government lackey between you and a doctor.”
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
