Ilhan Omar thinks she’s found the perfect way to dispose of “unhealthy and immoral” pork products. In a secret meeting of US Musselamicmen for Shakira Law, Omar praised a plan brought by the now-majority Islamiatite Legislature to limit pork coming into the state, commenting that “It’s a good enough plan to bring nationwide.”

Omar’s spokesman, Busa al Usta Taroli, said she’s definitely looking to end the “smite” of pork:

“Pork isn’t only spiritually unclean according to the Moon God, Allahu, it is also unhealthy for human consumption. The Almighty Moon would have never blessed the Prophetite Mecca with the Golden Dome of the Temple Mount in Philistine had he intended him to lead his people to swine.”

While that might make perfect sense to her and her ilk, it makes no sense to folks that love the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Ismail. They always forget about poor Ismail.

Omar’s plan is to make sure all of our pork is exported in whole pig form to a country that has nobody that will be upset by the sheer horror of the Shania Law being broken. If you can believe that. From there, it would be taxed, processed, taxed, shipped back, taxed, unpackaged for inspection, tariffed, repackaged, taxed, and put out to market with applicable state and federal taxes.

According to our source in her office, who may or may not be totally reliable, Omar is “Looking to tax the bejesus out of pig.”

Word of her intentions is slowly creeping across the internet. Official channels and MSM certainly won’t report it.

 

Comments

  1. MABEL JOHNSON

    I LOVE MY PORK !!!! THIS PERSON, I WILL NOT SAY WOMAN, CAN NOT STOP US EATING TASTY PORK, HAM, BACON, BEEF, YUM YUM YUM, EAT MORE PORK. I THINK THE BIBLE SAYS IN ISRAEL THEY ATE DATES, FIGS, OLIVE AND BACON, THEY ARE THE OLDEST FOOD IN HISTORY.

  2. Flagg Eagleton

    Wait…you don’t quote Leviticus to disparage them gays? Maybe you should read the rest of it.

  3. MABEL JOHNSON

    EXCUSE ME BUT THE GAYS EAT PORK TOO IF THEY ARE NOT ISLAM. THE BIBLE SAYS TAKE IT AND EAT IT AND THEY MEANT PORK AND HAM AS WELL AS MANNA. I DO NOT HOLD WITH GAYS IN SCHOOLS OR THE CHURCH BUT IF THEY ARE NOT ISLAM THEY ARE AMERICAN. THEY JUST NEED THE BIBLE.

  4. MABEL JOHNSON

    SHE DOES NOT !!!! I THINK SHE WAS A DEMON FROM AFRICA, CHRISTIANS ARE NOT THAT SKIN AND NEVER WILL BE. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN RELIGION THAT IS THE DEVIL. BUT WE CAN ACCEPT THEM IF THEY JOIN THE BIBLE AND HAVE THEIR OWN CHURCH ACROSS TOWN.

  5. lee Zeema

    The Commander in Cheef will NOT tax pigs. Or if the Demopussies pass this tax then we will tax hed scarfs- that’ll go over BIGLY!

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