Hillary Clinton Linked to Explosions at Plants Making Hydroxychloroquine Component

Not just one but two magnesium factories have blown up in recent days, and investigators have linked the blasts to none other than Hillary Clinton.

What’s the importance of these two plants? They manufacture magnesium, which is a key, required component of hydroxychloroquine. She recently bought a controlling stake in both plants, so the explosions are automatically suspect and reason to send her to Gitmo for treason and embezzling and being a traitor and stealing a lot of candy from the receptionist’s bowl that’s there for everyone but she always takes the good stuff. Criminal!

Hydroxychloroquine has been in the news a lot lately, as our dear leader, impeached President Trump, insists that it’s a miracle cure for some virus that’s going around. That’s ridiculous nonsense, of course, as proven by actual science. (Remember when science was respected and knowledge was valued? Oh, those were the halcyon days. But I digress.)

So why did Hillary blow up the magnesium plants? Our ace reporter, Sandy Batt, figured it out. Magnesium is a key component of hydroxychloroquine, which Trump and his brainwashed cult members insist is a cure for the virus.

IT’S NOT.

So Hillary Clinton blew up the magnesium plants to stop the production of hydroxychloroquine to keep stupid fat Trump supporters from killing themselves with the unproven, dangerous drug that can put people in cardiac arrest.

For those following along at home: cardiac arrest = bad.

And now that Hillary Clinton has blown up the magnesium plants to protect stupid fat Trump supporters from their own misguided trust in their orange lord and savior, derpy conspiracy theorists nationwide will no doubt come up with completely ludicrous “reasons” for her to have done this. Maybe it was to cover up a child sex trafficking ring at a pizza joint! Maybe it was to cover for Bill Clinton’s trips on the Lolita Express to Epstein’s island!

Or maybe taters are gullible. Maybe that’s the answer.