Vatican City was packed with onlookers yesterday as Pope Francis stood on the Papal Promenade, delivering a speech that was half-sermon and half-political observance.  But when the 82-year old’s remarks turned to criticism of American President Donald Trump, silence suddenly engulfed the streets like when Melania is gently packed back into her shipping crate for a peaceful evening’s rest.

“The time of election is fast approaching the United States of America, where many of my children of Christ reside.  I am fearful that the least among them will fall victim again to the evil and morally decrepit creature Trump.  I believe that should he be re-elected, God wil abandon all of his blessings upon America, and may see fit to raze it down, as Sodom, as Gomorrah.”

He also took a moment to officially forgive the Doobie Brothers for telling people that Jesus is “just alright.”

Francis, real name “Jorge”, is an Argentinian, and the ninth oldest Pontiff to be consecrated.  Many of the faithful have criticized his liberal attitudes in the recent past, noting his tolerance of gays and washing of the feet of the poor.  Still more believe he is especially rough on President Trump because he comes from a country of Brown people, and we all know what the Chosen One thinks of them.

“I love ALL colors of people. A to Z. Alabaster to zirconia.”

Well, there’s one thing that everyone knows for sure, and it’s that America is God’s country.  The Heavenly Father peers down on us with loving eyes, sitting next to us watching “Big Bang Theory” and wanting to bone Penny, helping us check the bag on the way out of the drive-thru to make sure we got a Burrito Supreme and not one of those disgusting “Crunchwrap” tampon-tacos, perhaps even gently guiding the needle while we sit proudly for a red, white, and blue American flag titty tattoo.   Real patriots know that God is with them, No matter what a glorified man-nun has to say.

Comments

  1. Anonymous

    POPE, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM———————\

  2. RJHeim

    IT IS GOOD TO MINISTER TO THE PEOPLE NOW:

    Because That the Pope is just beginning to make big strides toward bringing people to the false light – Start telling people, WARNING THEM, against the “NOAHIDE LAW” of the Zionist & N.W.O. message- that is intended to get People killed!

    I Warn the Truth As Follows:
    “”The NOAHIDE LAWS” is man-made …
    And will get You beheaded in the NEW WORLD ORDER …
    DO NOT BELIEVE THEM OR ACCEPT IT!!!

    THE REMNANT PEOPLE are Already Out of all the pagan churches …
    Join us as we *”KEEP THE COMMANDMENTS OF YHWH/(YAHUAH)
    AND THE TESTIMONY OF MESSIAH YAHUSHA!!!”*

  3. I await some major events.
    I don’t know what order they will come in, but they are all coming sooner rather than later.

    A) Empowerment of all who are waiting on Jesus as per Isaiah 40:31.
    As the original disciples were empowered on the day of Pentecost (see Acts 1&2).

    B) The sudden destruction of New York City, which will signal the commencement of the
    all out attack on the “sovereign” nations (especially of what was formerly called “Christendom”).
    I call this the KICK OFF EVENT. All the “sovereign” nations must be eliminated
    to make way for the coming into being of the NWO cashless One World Government
    the Beast will rule for 3.5 years. See Revelation 13.

    C) The Russian led invasion of Israel as per Ezekiel 38-39 and Zechariah 12-14.

    D) Announcement that the supreme Beast of the Revelation (JFK)
    is physically alive. John Kerry will be one of the announcers.

    http://www.mosquitonet.com/~prewett/

  4. Pedro Paulo

    Leave the Church, Francis ! You are not a light . You are the tricky Judas

  5. MABEL JOHNSON

    I’M SORRY !!!! BUT THIS PERSON, I WILL NOT SAY MAN, DOES NOT SPEAK FOR GOD WHO IS LISTENING ONLY TO AMERICAN CHRISTIANS AND SOME IN OTHER COUNTRIES. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT SATAN WILL TALK AND IF WE LISTEN THEN AMERICA IS LOST.

  6. Anonymous

    Papal hat too tight.. ??? no one gives a Holy Shit about what you have to say Pedophile Protector…..

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