Garth Brooks had quite a rough year, and it doesn’t look like things are getting any better for him. According to his spokesman, Joe Barron, Brooks has decided to bow out of his annual presenter’s spot at the Grammys.
“Garth presents the award for best new country artist each year, but this year he’s backing off,” said Barron, “Quite frankly, he’s tired of all the booing.”
Brooks endures a barrage of boos no matter where he goes ever since he called his fan base a-holes for boycotting Bud Light. He’s lost most of his touring partners, a record label dropped him, and his new Nashville bar is such a flop he’s considering closing it.
“Things just haven’t worked since he stood up for that beer,” said Barron, “Hopefully, all of this will pass.”
That’s unlikely, according to ALLOD Entertainment Correspondelator Tara Newhole:
“For the booing to end, the stories about the booing would need to end, which would drastically impact the revenue stream of this reporter’s employer,” she said, “Therefore, it’s best to keep making stuff up and selling it to unwitting Boomers living in a fantasy world in which Garth Brooks, one of the most successful artists of all time, is somehow broke and alone because the Magaderpian crowd buys anything we sell them.”
That seems like a fair breakdown but doesn’t quite cover exactly how long the fad will last. That’s up to you, patriots. When you stop believing, we stop writing. God Bless America.
