Trump to Strip Citizenship From Illegals That Commit Crimes

The border wall has nearly been completed.  Illegal immigration has nearly stopped completely in the United States of America because of the efforts of our ICE agents.  Due to the great success brought on by President Trump, it is now time to focus the nation’s lonely eyes to you, naturalized criminal ‘immigrants’.

The recently created denaturalization section of the immigration office will handle all cases involving criminals, including crimes such as tearing the tag off of pillows to jaywalking.  A subdivision of this section, which has already been named the Joseph R. McCarthy Center of American Assimilation, will handle cases of deportation of descendants of naturalized citizens, even if they were born in the United States.

Art Tubolls of Tupelo, MS grew up as the son of a carpenter who immigrated from Thailand.  In the past 3 years, Art has become politically active, organizing ANTIFA rallies in Hattiesburg to protest our duly elected President.  He has been arrested on several occasions.  As a result of the formation of the McCarthy Center, Mr. Tubolls’ criminal record almost certainly means that he will be deported.

Spokesperson Tully Rogers said:

“We have seen many cases of immigrants coming in and being perfect citizens.  Their children and sometimes their grandchildren take everything that is great about our country for granted.  They don’t fit in.  They don’t try to be model Americans.  They show a blatant disregard for the Constitution and the laws of our country and it’s about time that we have a President that lets us dive deeper and keep only the best of the best in the country.”

Speculation is that no one who cannot trace back to 3 generations in the country will be immune.  At this time there is no movement on whether to send Nancy Pelosi’s entire family back to Italy, but with the Trump administration, all things good are possible.