Caesar’s Palace responded quickly to the calls to boycott the UFC by its own fan base. According to Entertainment Coordinator Joe Barron, the company “signed its own death sentence” when it decided to partner with Bud Light.

“We can’t be involved in something like that,” said Barron, “Caesar’s has a very specific fight clientele, and they tend to support the boycott. They’ll have to find a new venue in Vegas.”

That might prove difficult. A report from the local Anheuser Busch distributor says that Bud Light sales in Sin City have dropped by more than 81 percent. “That’s not a sustainable trend,” he told our reporter, “They should be re-branding, not trying to save this one.”

Anheuser Busch says it has no plans to discontinue any of its products, including Bud Light.

What the people complaining don’t seem to realize is that they aren’t the majority. Their little boycott worked because it became “in” to switch beers, especially when a gaggle of bar-dwelling douchebags started intimidating anyone who bought one. “They tend to be delusional,” said Dana White, “which is why we pander to them for just about everything. This is $100 million, though. They can suck it.”

White’s attitude might earn him the title of “next Garth Brooks” if he isn’t a little more kind to his own fans. It would be awful if the UFC shut down. Just…awful.

Not a very good move, UFC. Your doom awaits. God Bless America.

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