Trump to Receive Medal of Honor for Wartime Presidential Bravery

The Congressional Medal of Honor is the most prestigious medal awarded to the best and bravest of our U.S. Service members. It’s reserved for the cream of the crop, and only a few thousand have been awarded since its creation during the Civil War.

Well, we can all agree that Trump has shown tremendous bravery throughout this whole crisis, and that’s why he’s earned this high honor.

The only glitch was that Congress wouldn’t agree that Trump deserved the medal, so after trying to convince them, Trump awarded it to himself.

Sandy Batt was with the president when he spoke to Congress to ask for their support.

“The Democrats flat out refused to give him the medal, smirking every time he referred to himself as a wartime president. So, he started running around Congress like a tornado all in a tizzy snapping ‘You’re fired! and ‘I’m just as good as Teddy!’ in every Democrat’s face, but they were unphased.

They laughed at him, told him he didn’t have any power there, and threatened to drop a house on him if he didn’t leave. Can you imagine? They’re lucky to be alive. On the other hand, the Republicans backed him all the way and bowed to him whenever he flew by.”

The other issue with the award was the manner in which it will be presented to Trump, but he crafted the perfect solution. Usually, it’s the president who gives the medal to the winner, and he did consider playing both roles, but then he had another one of his brilliant ideas.

Instead of pinning the medal on his own chest, Trump’s holding a look-a-like contest on April 31. The winner will award him the medal. That way, it will appear as though he’s awarding himself — which he is.

Alec Baldwin, actor and occasional SNL guest, already phoned the White House to throw his hat in the ring. We think he has a good shot.