After the US Olympic Committee told NCAA Champ Lia Thomas that she could only try out for the men’s national team because of new global swimming rules, she decided to give it a shot.

It didn’t go very well.

Thomas tried to qualify for five different races and didn’t place in any of them. In the 500 meter, the title the swimmer owns from college, She came in dead last. In the 200, the race she stole from Riley Gaines, she placed a miserable fifth. “It was like watching a child try out for an adult competition,” said Committee Chair Joe Barron, “I don’t think Thomas will be back in the pool anytime soon.”

“Lia has decided not to pursue a post-collegiate swimming career,” said a spokesperson for the athlete, “She only hopes that her withdrawal will help Riley Gaines move on and get a job.”

That last crack may seem a bit unwarranted, but Thomas has her reasons. Gaines was as nice as pie until she realized she only had two options in life. She chose “right-wing stooge” over “dentist,” and hasn’t stopped attacking Lia since. It’s almost like she really just doesn’t like teeth all that much.

It’s okay, though. With her lack of an ass and eyes that are so close together she looks like Dory, Riley is sure to stay in the spotlight they use to entice morons into the cult. God Bless America.

15 Comments

  1. Colin W.

    What’s with all the biased remarks and childish putdows? I thought I was reading an real article from a journalist not a snotty high-school girl with a chip on her shoulder. Your immaturity was blindingly clear with this piece.

    • Howard

      Why is he referred to as she? He’s male, and always will be.

      • Anyone with a brain

        Really? You’re supposed to be a journalist yet resort to calling people names? Here’s one for you then! Go fuck yourself, Faggit.

      • Justin P Moock

        Wow way to show some class! Whoever wrote this article should be ashamed of themselves! How dare you say such lewd things about a woman’s body! Ur obviously a democrat,as no one else has character THAT poor! What a scumbag journalist!

    • Michelle Lueke

      I second that. This was my response too. Wow, such vitriol hate. Noted.

      • Lee

        The writer of this story is a woke liberal pos.

  2. Art Soto

    The article started out showing some intelligence then quickly degraded to name calling and insults. Ultimately, Riley is a women competing in a woman’s classification. Where as WilLIAm is a man competing against women in a woman’s classification. He tried competing against other men but failed confirming what we all knew already, WilLIAm has no chance against other born males. Insult the readers all you want, it makes no difference. The proof is on the podium. God Bless America, there’s still hope!

  3. Ms Cosgrove

    Started out ok then deteriorated into a shed load of misogyny

  4. ANGUS GAFRAIDH

    Thomas is a man, not a woman. A mediocre athlete (at best) he saw a way to win medals though a massive cheat. I am delighted to hear that he is no longer able to take advantage of his male skeletal and muscular structure and hormonal metabolism to beat women who have none of those physical assets. Why is it, I wonder, that no female transitioning to male is trying to compete in male sports? It’s because this con job doesn’t work in reverse. And you can take this to the bank – if men pretending to be women are allowed to compete in high energy contact sports like rugby or boxing, then women – real women – are going to die.

    • Lisa Mowczan

      Author of this article has an issue with real women? Sounds like my ex-husband. Only reason he kept me around was plausible deniability.

      Are y’all seriously letting this guy talk crap about women and the Olympics?

  5. Popeye the sailerman

    After the US Olympic Committee told NCAA Champ Lia Thomas that he could only try out for the men’s national team because of new global swimming rules, she decided to give it a shot.

    It didn’t go very well.

    Thomas tried to qualify for five different races and didn’t place in any of them. In the 500 meter, the title the swimmer owns from college, He came in dead last. In the 200, the race she stole from Riley Gaines, he placed a miserable fifth. “It was like watching a child try out for an adult competition,” said Committee Chair Joe Barron, “I don’t think Thomas will be back in the pool anytime soon.”

    “Lia has decided not to pursue a post-collegiate swimming career,” said a spokesperson for the athlete, “He only hopes that his withdrawal will help Riley Gaines move on and get a job.”

    That last crack may seem a bit unwarranted, but Thomas has his reasons. Gaines was as nice as pie until he realized she only had two options in life. She chose “right-wing stooge” over “dentist,” and hasn’t stopped attacking Lia since. It’s almost like he really just doesn’t like teeth all that much.

    It’s okay, though. With her lack of an ass and eyes that are so close together she looks like Dory, Riley is sure to stay in the spotlight they use to entice morons into the cult. God Bless America.

    There fixed a couple of things

  6. Sandra Currie

    Wow, your ignorance is astounding! And resorting to name calling is the trademark of the weak minded.

  7. lottaled

    who the hell wrote this shit ? lia is a dude and riley has a right to bitch and make him look like shit because he is shit!

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