The Democratical Congress is seeking to obstruct yet again. Alexandra Occasional-Cortex, the most powerful puertorriqueña since Ana Delgado de la Torre Velázquez Juarez, is moving quickly to pass a bill to fast track the horribly hypoallergenic Green New Deal. The new name of the bill will be changed to the Tomatillo Verde Initiative, in remembrance of the salsa that made Quayaquil great again. Hurricane Maria stopped production of the fabled condiment during the failed Obama administration. However, the Bounty company pitched in, unlike the Tangerine girly-man who threw towels to hungry people. 91 billion dollars are allocated to clean up the mess that he left.
Lawrence R. Sorensen, the fabled detective of The New York Centerfold Model Massacre fame, explains the gist of the bill can be found here:
Eres un pendejo si crees que esto sea la verdad.
Since climate change doesn’t exist, and we have at least a quintillion years left to live, this bill will most likely die on McConnell’s soft shell. If not, then our prescient president will take out the Crayola box and find another crisis to manufacture.
