“It’s pronounced Brittany, like the singer,” said the new World Women’s Cycling champion, “I really wish people would stop trying to make it sound masculine.”

Brittaneigh Jones doesn’t sound feminine. At all. Aside from the name, when pronounced correctly, you’d never know Jones was a “she” at all.

Jones joined the cycling team in the remote Eastern European country Barronistan so he could take advantage of its complete of rules governing transgender athletes.

Last year, Jones competed in the UK as Bob Jones, earning 47th place for his efforts. “I knew I could do better,” said Brittaneigh.

Jones will be running the entire liberal circuit next year, foregoing any further need to compete by doing episodes of Joy Reid’s show and The View. “She’s the left’s version of Riley Gaines,” said Kyle Rittenhouse, “which is pretty sad. Imagine making your whole life about one single thing that happened.”

ALLOD Correspondent Tara Newhole stood there for a few seconds, somewhat astounded that Rittenhouse could actually be that ignorant. “Believe me,” she said, “He is. The little stooge has never had an independent thought in his life.”

Rittenhouse immediately filed a lawsuit against Newhole and The View, for some reason, and took to Xitter to beg his weird hero fetish followers for more cash. God Bless America.


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