According to our colleagues at The Dunning-Kruger Times, Whoopi Goldberg stormed off The View after the other hosts made fun of her:

“She was really upset,” said Set Director Joe Barron, “When Sunny compared her hair to a mop, there were some real fireworks. Then, Joy reminded her that she was just voted the most hated person in Hollywood. It was ugly.”

ABC immediately called for a cut and an edit, and the rest of the hosts re-recorded the show without her an hour later with the audience from The Price is Right.

“All I have is that one camera angle,” said Tara Newhole, the ALLOD journalisticator on the scene. Network security makes you leave your phone outside the sound stage, but I had a spycam installed in my left nipple that snaps a quick shot when I expose it. A little slip, and boom. Angry Whoopi.”

Newhole’s work will likely earn her another Wurlitzer for Photojournalisticating. Network security was so tight that there were far more images of the nip slip leaked than the incident itself.

That’s why we here at America’s Last Line of Defense choose to employ special people, patriots. They accomplish special things. We’re proud that Tara’s naked breast could bring you this magical moment in television history.

God bless her ingenuity. And God Bless America.


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