As reported on this network, former disgraced Sheriff Joe Arpaio recently died at age 89.  The self-proclaimed ‘America’s Toughest Sheriff’ had a long track record of racial profiling, ignoring crimes against children, and costing the tax payers of Maricopa County, Arizona millions of dollars in lawsuits.

Best known for being Donald Trump’s first illegitimate pardon, pulling over Elvis Presley, and making a fool of himself on the stage at the Republican National Convention after pretty much everyone else had other plans, Arpaio recently launched his campaign to become the Maricopa County Sheriff once again.

Arpaio’s friend Art Tubolls explained,

“I could not care less about Joe Arpaio.  He paid me to be here.  I’m glad he’s gone.  No one liked him and his old man smell.  He was so evil that I can’t even feel bad about how he died.  Most of all I’m happy for his wife.  She’s finally free to hit the bridge clubs and live her life.  It must have sucked to be around his scowl all day and all that hate.”

Arpaio capitalized on the fact that many Phoenix voters would vote for the Devil himself before they voted for a Democrat, and amassed a campaign war chest of $13 million before he died.  Arpaio personally had very little money, but did have several thousand pairs of pink underwear, hundreds of copies of his book that no one else bought, and a 1992 Buick Skylark.

Proceeds from the sale of his car, books, and underwear are expected to earn $75.  This $75 plus the remaining $5 million in campaign funds will be paid to Maricopa County to apply toward the remaining millions of dollars in unpaid lawsuits.


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