The pandemic has hit everyone hard. We were promised some assistance from our government to help us weather the storm. Stimulus relief checks have finally started to make their way to hard hurting Americans that have been affected by this Democratic hoax. Unfortunately, like all things Democratic, there’s always something foul running afoot.

Thousands of checks were recently mailed out to deceased individuals. The one catch; every single one of these corpses is a registered Democrat. Most even voted in 2016. Just when you thought that the Liberals couldn’t be any more brazen in their attempt to subvert our country, something heinous like this happens.

IRS spokesperson and former Bud Light spokesdog, Spuds MacKenzie, issued the following statement:

“HEY, you wanna be on the wrong side of Soros? You want murder hornets in your house? Yeah, me neither. This is simple: we have to keep the Democrats in power so we can take advantage of hard working rednecks who have never asked for government assistance in their lives.”

Hundreds of conservatives, currently waiting in line at a local SuperCuts, were asked about this development. The comments ranged from “THEY TOOK OUR JOBS” to “THESE COLORS DO NOT RUN” and then finally “BUT HER EMAILS”.

Of course, bumper sticker slogans are the key to any patriotic American’s dumb, pathetic heart, so we’ll be periodically checking back in to see what type of non-sequitur these mayonnaise Americans can come up with. Needless to say, this aggression will not stand, dude. They peed on our rug. Did it not tie the room together? Did it not?

Calmer than you are.


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