Disney Adds Michelle Obama to ‘Little Mermaid’ Cast As Mother of Ariel

When Disney began updating it’s line of classic animated features by shooting them as live-action productions, results were mixed. Recently, the public split itself across racial lines with the announcement that the new version of “The Little Mermaid” would star an African American actress, Halle Bailey. Some more conservative porkers believe that it’s a demonstration of political correctness run amok, while others feel that racist dickheads are simply using that as an excuse for being racist dickheads.

Now Disney has stepped up it’s aquatic game by casting former First Lady Michelle Obama as : “Mariel”, the mother of the protaganist in an effort to possibly collect data dealing with the exact blast radius that results from a Trump-supporting prick’s head actually exploding. Mrs. Obama was present during a successful Presidential administration and is a best-selling author, which usually, out of jealousy, causes Trumptards to label her “a man”, which us a testament to : a) how long it’s been since any of them have actually seen a woman sexually, and b) that their senses of humor pretty much end at the gay bar joke in Police Academy.

Disney’s Chief of Live Action Presentations, Dixon B. Tweenerlegs commented to Buzzfeed :

“The sheer fact, is this ‘controversy’ is the result of a generation of aging boomers who masturbated to cartoons years ago, and are upset that their sexualized version of a mermaid is being corrupted by their innate racist biases. In effect, we ruined their porn star. So we added Michelle Obama to the cast so that the theaters would possibly be blissfully free of MAGA hats and the idiocy they bring to a normally fun outing. You’re welcome, America.”