The girl’s swimming team from Vandenboom High School in Ludafisk, Minnesota walked into their locker room to find a surprise guest: former NCAA swimmer Lia Thomas. The girls all looked at each other, and without another word, they turned around and walked out.

The team’s captain, Joesphine Barron, stopped on her way out to inform Thomas that she was “in the wrong locker room.” Coach Sandra Batt insisted that the girls stay, but she was immediately shut down.

“This isn’t the NCAA,” said Jolie Robbins, “we’re here to compete at our level and have fun, not be part of some movement.” Her best friend, Lisa Pais, called her a funny name related to prostitution and agreed.

Girls will be girls. Apparently, at one high school in Minnesota, they refuse to be anything else.

We sent ALLOD Sportsball Correspondent Tara Newhole to see what she could uncover. “As usual,” she reported, “this is a thing that may or may not have happened and everyone is very hush-hush about it. The girls aren’t cooperating because there may not actually be any. I’ll keep the main desk updated if anything materializes out of thin air.”

As always, Tara is right there when we need her, lost at what must be the wrong GPS coordinates. Our tracker has her somewhere just outside Piedmont, North Dakota, another place that may not exist outside of a Piper Perabo movie.

Thank goodness we cleared that up. God Bless America.


  1. Mark

    Why do you call him a “she”?!? Using such language only perpetuates this problem.

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