While nothing compares to an actual excursion to Bavaria for the real thing, Americans still know how to throw a local version of the year’s best festival. The event is, of course, Oktoberfest, and the place is Wisconsin.

For more than 82 years, Point Place has been the center of the beer-drinking nation in the US, with one of its headliners always being Budweiser. This year, however, all of that changes.

“We’ve disinvited Anheuser Busch’s Budweiser brands,” said Festival Grand Marshal Joseph Barron, “They’re too divisive and not worth the trouble.”

That means that in nearly 83 years, exactly three brands have been excluded from Point Place, and they’re all named Bud. Budweiser, Bud Light, and Bud Ice will be nowhere in sight.

Other Anheuser Busch products will take their place, because that’s how giant multinational corporations work, and in the end, any actual drop in sales and production does nothing but hurt the American worker, but that’s okay as long as we’re owning the libs.

Run-on sentences aside, Point Place’s Mayor Red Foreman said “anyone who believes this nonsense is a dumbass,” which may or may not be verifiable, depending on the individual reader’s ability to understand the difference between right and wrong.

The community came together and repainted over the giant “Errrrrr” frog that’s been on the town’s water tower since just after the Kelso incident. God bless America.


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