A prominent restaurant chain, operating in many states across the country, has instituted a strict policy against the military and all of their members.

The Country Kitchen Buffet is mired in controversy because of its decision to create a “no military” atmosphere throughout its restaurant chain. An idea that started in one California location by customer request, has quickly gained popularity after spreading eastward store by store. Now, after one year, every one of their 537 locations nationwide refuses service to any known members of the military and any of their guests.

Evil in food

Country Kitchen CEO, Rocca Vages, is adamant that the culinary corporation made the right decision:

“These guys are trained killers. Their life is literally dedicated to death of human beings and the destruction of people’s livelihoods and homes.

In the current atmosphere of this country, with mass shootings every goddamn day, people need to feel safe when they sit down as a family for a meal. This ban is us doing our part to create that safe place.

There will be no killing machines allowed in our restaurants from now until the end of time. This I decree!”

“This I decree”. He sounds like a third world dictator. This is exactly the type of policy such a leader would have.

We hope Trey and Matt are proud of our efforts here today.

But customers of the chain seem pleased. Said one such patron, Sue Perrman:

“I love it! I hated seeing those monsters come in to the restaurant in their camouflage gear and smug looks. We never felt safe. My kids would ask if they were there to kill us. I didn’t know how to answer because I was never sure myself.

Thank goodness there is a chain of eateries with the courage to stand up to those lunatics!”

Obviously, the Country Kitchen Buffet does not cater to true patriots. People who truly love this country also love those who defend it. We know this place won’t be getting our business ever again.



    Your food sucks anyways, so i say to you fuck off you big babies

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